Parenting an Anxious Child is Hard.

You’ve noticed that your child is struggling with anxiety. You see that they’re feeling overwhelmed or avoiding everyday situations that used to be okay. And you’re doing everything you can to help your child, but it’s just not working. You might feel… 

• ​Confused about what to do when your child feels anxious - nothing seems to work consistently to help them over the long-run. 
• Frustrated that your child continues to struggle with anxiety, despite your best efforts.
• Sad about your child missing out on things that they used to enjoy. 

The next time your child becomes overwhelmed with anxiety, imagine if you knew exactly how to respond.

During individual therapy with parents of children struggling with anxiety, OCD, or related issues, I teach them tools to help them navigate these situations more effectively. We will work together to help you respond to these situations in a way that is both supportive and helps your child develop effective coping tools to navigate anxiety over the long run. 
 
The strategies and tools that we will discuss during our parent therapy sessions are strongly based on the SPACE treatment program, as well as my own clinical experience with families over the last 15 years.

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What is SPACE Therapy?

SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is an effective, research-based treatment that was developed at Yale University, where the therapist meets exclusively with the parents of children struggling with anxiety, OCD, or related issues. I received formal training in SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) in 2020 and have seen first-hand how parents learn to calmly and effectively respond to their child’s anxiety, and most importantly – how children begin to effectively cope with anxiety and face their fears.
 
Cutting-edge research has shown that this treatment program, which involves working exclusively with parents, is just as effective as cognitive behavioral therapy with the child directly. Yes, you read that correctly! If you’re interested, read about these ground-breaking study results and this NPR article that outlines one family’s journey in helping their child using the SPACE treatment program.

​​Wait, so this therapy is for me? Not my Child?
Yes. Here's why:

​I believe that when kids struggle with anxiety, it is inevitably a family affair. Parents do not cause their children to experience anxiety, but they do play a key role in the trajectory of their child’s anxiety. As a parent myself, I know how hard it is to think clearly and calmly when your child is suffering. I get that sometimes the only thing that computes in your brain is: How can I make my child feel better RIGHT NOW?
 
And after a decade of working in the trenches with families in this struggle, I know the mindset changes AND specific skills you need to master in order for you to confidently and effectively support your child in learning to navigate anxiety. 
 
Are you ready to take this important step in helping your child learn how to cope with anxiety? Have any questions about how this parent-focused therapy works? Let’s set up a time to talk.  

I am Ready to Help My Child Beat Anxiety

Social Anxiety

Worry Talking Back Exposure

• Identify worry thought:

  If I make a mistake while ordering my food at a restaurant, I’ll look so stupid.

• Talk back to the worry with facts/evidence:

  I’ve been to this restaurant before, and the waiters are usually friendly, so even if I fumble over my words, he/she probably won’t think much of it.

• Gradual exposure:

  • Go with a friend, and have him/her order my food. I might order my drink.
  • Go with a friend. Order both my food and drink order on my own.
  • Go to restaurant alone, and order both my food and drink.

Panic Attacks

Worry Talking Back Exposure

• Identify worry thought:

  I notice that my heart is beating a little faster than usual, so I should probably leave this situation in order to prevent a panic attack.

• Talk back to the worry with facts/evidence:

  My heart could be beating faster than usual because I’m walking quickly. I’ve had this sensation before and it does not usually lead to a panic attack. If I do have a panic attack, it will be very uncomfortable, but it will pass quickly.

• Gradual exposure:

  • Do activities that lead to the experience of a fast heart beat (e.g., run vigorously or do jumping jacks for a minute)
  • Do these activities in situations where it might be difficult to leave quickly

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Worry Talking Back Exposure

• Identify worry thought:

  I’m not sure I did that quite right (e.g., a task, a conversation), and that makes me feel very anxious/uncomfortable. I will [insert compulsion] to help myself feel better

  Compulsions are quite varied and can include: mental rituals (counting or repeating a phrase in your mind), reordering/arranging, hand-washing, etc.

• Talk back to the worry with facts/evidence:

  Even though I feel uncomfortable about messing up, the compulsion will not actually fix anything, it’ll just help me take the edge off or now.

• Gradual exposure and response prevention (ERP):

  In OCD treatment, the focus is on reducing the compulsive responses and learning to manage the obsessions in a more effective manner. To engage in ERP in the current example, you might start with purposefully doing something not quite right (e.g., mess up on a minor task) and experiencing feeling some anxiety/discomfort. Then, you would gradually work on the response prevention component:

  • Allow myself to engage in the compulsion minimally (e.g., repeat phrase in mind only two times rather than ten times).
  • Delay the compulsion: wait one minute before repeating the phrase
  • Do the compulsion differently: Say the phrase, but only part of it or say it backwards.
  • Do not engage in the compulsion

Separation Anxiety (child)

Worry Talking Back Exposure

• Identify worry thought:

  After Mom drops me off at school, I will miss her too much and will have a long, terrible day at school. So I’m going to try to stay with her as long as possible.

• Talk back to the worry with facts/evidence:

  Even though I will miss Mom while I’m at school, there are some things that I could do, like talk with my friends or go to the playground.

• Gradual exposure:

  • Spend time separate from Mom in fun places (e.g., at a friend’s house).
  • At school drop-off time, walk with Mom into the classroom and stay with her for a few minutes before she leaves.
  • At school drop-off time, walk with Mom to the school entrance and say goodbye there.

Specific Phobia: Vomit (also known as emetophobia)

Worry Talking Back Exposure

• Identify worry thought:

  My stomach feels a little queasy, which means I might throw up. If I throw up, I will feel terrible/disgusting/very nervous. Others might notice, and think I am gross.

• Talk back to the worry with facts/evidence:

  Since my stomach is feeling queasy, there’s a small chance that I may throw up. I’ve thrown up before and it is uncomfortable, but it is not harmful and I can handle it.

• Gradual exposure:

  • Read stories about vomiting
  • Look at pictures and watch videos of people vomiting
  • Engage in activities that could lead to nausea (e.g., spin in chair to get dizzy, shake head quickly from side to side for a full minute, eat foods that may have been previously avoided due to fear of vomiting)